True Friends

Oh my goodness I just realized I love to start my blog post with "so" and I was about to do it AGAIN for the umpteenth time and I caught myself. Okay back to what's been eating at me {all day}…and this is about to be real talk.

Friendship

You know in elementary school its who you play dress up with, in middle school its who you have sleepovers and discuss crushes with, and in high school its the people that you go everywhere with and spend all your major events with.

Well, after that you aren't forced to spend 8 hours a day in the same room with people and no one cares if you have plans every night of the week or if you are just going home to sit on the couch and watch tv until you fall asleep.

Somewhere between high school and this moment I have all but forgotten how to be a good friend. To be quite honest, I suck at it.

I have friends, people I socialize with at church or work, people I've grown up with and been childhood friends with. However, I am terrible at being the kind of friend that someone wants in their lives. I rarely go out of my way to make plans with friends, I hardly text them just to say hi, I don't even notice when life-altering stuff is happening in their lives. I mean, come on, how do you miss stuff like that and still call yourself someone's "close friend".

Anyways, this all spurred out of a discussion I happened to read on Facebook between two acquaintances that I used to go to church with. Older women that had obviously been hurt by so-called friends in their lives. They talked about how much they needed that communication from their friends and that when the going got tough it felt like everyone disappeared. I do NOT want my friends to ever be able to say that about me. Its like a lightbulb went off. There's a reason that I don't considered myself as having a tight-knit group of girlfriends. There's a reason some of my closest friends didn't come to me when things got hard. Why would you go to someone that hasn't even called lately? or asked How are you doing, and really meant it.


As Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another."We need each other and its not fair to the ladies in my life for me to just be an "every now and then" friend. I have to reach out to them and encourage them that no matter what they've got a friend in me. Someone who will be a listening ear without judgment, slander, or a harsh word. A friend that will laugh and cry with you and help bring back the JOY that so many of us have seemed to misplaced.

Today after stewing on that conversation I read, I decided it was time for a change. That I was no longer going to wait for my friends to call or text, but that I am going to always make sure that there is an open line of communication all the time and be involved deeply in my friends lives. I hate that it has taken losing countless friendships for me to realize this. I pray that God gives me the strength and courage to mend those broken relationships.

Today I sent a quick message to all my close friends just saying hi and seeing about some lunch/dinner dates. I love my husband and I love spending time with him, but its time that I invest some of my time into building lasting and fruitful relationships with the women in my life.

I am challenging myself to do a few concrete things to help me jumpstart this new commitment.

• Have a meaningful conversation with each of my friends at least 2 times a week whether by phone, computer, or in person
• Don't go more than 2 weeks without spending some quality time with each of my friends. 
• Pray earnestly for each of my friends and also that God would help me become the friend that someone would want to have. 

I haven't really shared this blog with many people yet so I don't really know if anyone will ever read this, but if you are I hope that it challenges you to look inside yourself and see if you really are a true friend. 

Be Blessed and Happy Blogging :)